Animal husbandry

My mom is the dudette. She cycles to work in a sari (she's a doctor), swims 40 laps everyday, teaches my maid servant's 13-year old daughter history, and says and does the most outrageous things.

Recently, she attended the local Mahila Mandal (Women's Club) meeting where the women were giving each other household tips. One said that ginger when dried in the sun is easier to cut. Another offered tips on how to prevent your eyes from watering while cutting onions. When my mom's turn arrived, she began.

"When you have had a tiring day at work, make some tea and sit down at the dining table with your husband. After narrating to him the tough day you have endured, get up and limp towards the kitchen. Bemoan the fact that you have to now wash vessels and cook dinner. Your husband will follow you and offer to help you with the dishes. Gladly accept this. Then start cutting the vegetables. When he has almost finished with the washing, grab hold of a couple of onions and rue the fact that your eyes are soon going to water. He will then offer to help you with the onions!" And so on.

This incident reminded me of my history teacher in school, who had a great sense of humour. Once, he was talking to us about the changing roles of men and women in Indian society. How women now work and how men are expected to help with the housework. Animal husbandry is what he called it!

Guide

A couple of months back, I went to Mahabaleshwar (a beautiful hill station in Maharashtra) with friends. Since we were only doing a weekend trip, we decided to do the ST Bus Darshan, thus saving both money and time. I was a little apprehensive about the rather touristy, not-so-cool ride we had gotten ourselves into. But one look at my guide and I knew that all my fears were unfounded!


Our guide was a replica of the great Dev Anand. He hero-worshipped him so much that he even called himself Dev Anand!

The next 2 hours were pure, unadulterated entertainment.


This is our wonderful first shtop. Enjoy the beauty of the nature in full glory. Yahan aapke liye 1 min photography, 14 min baaki.


Yeh hain Echo Point. Yahan mein jo bhi chillaatha hun, waapas full speed aa jata hain. Dekho. Lights...lllliggghhttts, Sound...sssooundd, Camera...caammeerra, Action...acccttioon, OK Packup...ook ppackuuppp. Let's go!


Angrezi mein blue eyes, brown hair waali ladki ko Kates bulathe hain, isiliye is jagah ka naam hain Kates Point! Titanic ke liye ship nahi chahiye, bas yahan apna haath phyla karo aur mazaa le lo!


Yeh hain, Aurthor (Arthur+Author) Seat Point. Yahan pe Col. Arthur aake poems likhtha tha, isiliye iska naam. Abhi itni sunder dikhthi hain. Par June se October tak yahan itna fog hota hain ki yeh point aapka computer jaise hang ho jata hain!

Boy, Dev Anand was without a shadow of doubt the best tourist guide I have ever had. The rest of Mahabaleshwar was fun too. Nice quaint town with amazing food and views. And the usual dose of typos that are a part of every 'sight-seeing' trip in India!

Bombay meri jaan!

I've lived in Bombay for five years now, and I just cannot have enough of the city. What truly sets it apart are the amazing people that live here.

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This December, as always, my hostel room was taken over by a bunch of friends and acquaintances during Mood Indigo. This has both its positives and negatives. On the bright side, I always seem to discover a host of new years' gifts during my marathon post-MI room cleaning sessions. This year, Santa had stashed away a nice little gold watch inside one of my shoes. A couple of weeks of inquiries later, I still hadn't located the owner of the watch. So, I decided to gift it to the housekeeping staff on my hostel floor (a good friend of mine). Initially, he refused to accept it, but a little coaxing resulted in him finally taking it. Two days back, I bumped into him in the corridor.

Me: (wave) Kya chal raha hain?
Him: Achcha hun, sir.
(I walk past, and he calls out)
Him: Sir, meine ghadi ko Hall Manager ke office mein jama kar diya. Achcha nahi laga, log kya sochenge.

He had felt uncomfortable wearing the fancy watch. There was no way he was going to jeopardize the trust of his community for a glittering gadget that he had no real use for. No wonder people in the slums do not feel the need for doors in their houses.

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My all-time favourite real life incident is a story narrated to me by a friend of mine who is a frequent traveller on the Virar fast, Bombay's most crowded local train.

Once, an old uncle travelling by the Virar fast wanted to get off at Jogeshwari. The problem with that was that the Virar fast does not stop at Jogeshwari. On realizing this, Uncleji pressed the panic button and asked his co-passengers what to do. They comforted him and told him that there was no cause to worry. All fast trains slow down at slow local stations, and they would help him jump off the train. All he had to do was continue running to maintain his momentum. Father Newton would take care of the rest.

So, Jogeshwari arrived and as promised, he was helped off the train. Remarkably for his age, he timed his jump, landing and subsequent jog to perfection. Piece of cake. Now, in Bombay, when you see a fellow Mumbaikar in need of help, the thing to do is to lend a helping hand. On noticing Uncleji running beside the train, the passengers in the next compartment did what comes naturally to them. They pulled him back into the train!

At least you cannot fault their intentions. Beautiful city this is :).

Punny is funny

I've always marvelled at people who've mastered the art of the pun. There is really nothing like the good ol' pun to crack you up. Let me illustrate my point.

The lovable Pakistani cricketer, Inzamam-ul-Haq is on the verge of retirement, and people around the blogging world have begun writing glowing testimonials about him. While Inzy was a phenomenal batting talent, he's always been slow and laboured on the field. And he carried that image with him to the numerous press conferences he made as captain of Pakistan. Vic Marks, former international player and now journalist, once described them as being "much Urdu about nothing"!

I was there!

...when India won its first Twenty 20 World Cup! Maybe not at the Bull Ring. But watching an India-Pakistan World Cup finals on a big-screen in our Hostel Sky-Bridge with a couple of hundred delirious hostel-mates really is as good as it gets :)

It's been 22 years in the waiting for me, and now that it has come, I am lost for words! Up yours, you Australian bullies!

Phew!

An eventful week it has been. It all began rather ominously with a phone call that I received from a crazy Punjabi, professing that a bomb would explode at Convocation. It had all the makings of a Dixi/KP prank - persistently painful voice, flowery Hindi, and to top it all, a mention of InsIghT. For a change, I stood my ground and didn't lose my cool. I played along and tried to be as painful in my inimitable Tam-Punjabi accent. Things were going rather well, I must admit. The conversation was flowing, and I really was letting it rip. Shut up. FU. MKC. At which point, I learnt that all along, I was speaking to my good ol' Tam friend, the Dean!

Lesson 1: Mind your language. It is a cruel world.

For 21 long years, I have followed and supported the Indian cricket team. As a diehard fan, I have had my fair share of heartbreaks. But it was all worth the wait. An overseas victory against England in our 60th year of Independence, it doesn't get better than this. Yahoo!

Lesson 2: There is a God.

My first trek of the season finally happened last Saturday (Duke's nose). And it had all the ingredients of the perfect monsoon trek - great company, awesome waterfalls, a few lakes, rain, mist and an amazing view from the top. There was also the odd jitter to spice things up. A couple of territorial bulls lost it when they saw this nice happy bunch trespassing into their private pond. It was the fastest I have run in a long long time. Anyway, all's end that ends well. Jai Shivaji!

Lesson 3: These matadors are crazy (to be said with a menhir in one hand, and the other pointing towards one's temple).

Monsoon masti anyone?

Fifth year has finally hit me, and I intend on really living it up these last two semesters. Old people at IIT end up doing some pretty strange things. Like reviving their long-forgotten blogs!

Bombay is as green and beautiful as ever, and I'm itching to grab my backpack and make a dash for the Sahyadris. Interesting company is hard to find though, so hopefully this fantabulous quote from Steven Van Matre's "Earth Speaks" will inspire my working batchmates to join me next weekend:

"One final paragraph of advice.

Do not burn yourselves out. Be as I am-a reluctant enthusiast...a part time crusader, a half hearted fanatic. Save the other half of yourselves and your lives for pleasure and adventure. It is not enough to fight for the land, it is even more important to enjoy it. While you can, while it's still here. So get out there and hunt and fish and mess around with your friends, ramble out yonder and explore the forests, encounter the grizz, climb the mountains, bag the peaks, run the rivers, breathe deep of that yet sweet and lucid air. Enjoy yourselves, keep your brain in your head and your head firmly attached to the body, the body active and alive, and I promise you this much: I promise you this one sweet victory over our enemies, over those deskbound people with their hearts in a safe deposit box and their eyes hypnotized by desk calculators. I promise you this: I promise you will outlive the bastards!"

Anyone game?